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One of the most important people in your college experience is
your roommate. She or he can be the source of deep friendship,
chronic aggravation, or someplace in between, depending on how
the two of you get along. Here are a few suggestions that
will make a difference ... |
Spend time with your roommate. It's easier to live with a friend
than to co-exist with an enemy.
Share your space. It's amazing how much stuff will really fit into a
residence hall room, but be conservative with how much you initially
bring (enough for your desk, dresser, and closet). If you need more
stuff later, you can bring it from home during breaks or on
weekends.
Work out an agreement on cleaning. Conflicts over unmade beds,
unwashed dishes, and the like can often cause feuds. Plan to clean
more than once a semester and divide up the cleaning
responsibilities. If someone isn't carrying her or his share of the
load, discuss it before it becomes a major irritation.
Be open about sharing (or not sharing) some possessions. How does
your roommate feel about sharing her or his possessions? Some
roommates don't mind and others do. Always ask before you use
something of your roommate's.
Not everyone's taste in decorating is the same. Combine styles and
tastes to create something new. Don't compromise your individuality,
but be willing to work with someone else's.
Arrange your study schedule. If you plan to do most of your studying
in the room, let your roommate know. Do you study best with music or
the TV, or is silence most conducive? Agree on some general hours
and change only after a discussion of the need/desire to reschedule.
Meet other people. Don't depend on your roommate to satisfy all of
your social needs. Make other friends and get involved in activities
that take you out of your room.
Keep the lines of communication open. Chances are good that if
something about the living situation is bothering you, it's also
bothering your roommate.
Finally, think of your living situation as a household. Ideally, the
concerns of a household are the concern of each of its members. No
single member should dominate nor feel oppressed. It's a balanced
lifestyle you're seeking.
If problems
arise and you cannot resolve them between yourselves, see your RA. Ask
about mediation options and remember that in this type of situation,
it is often less a question of who's right or wrong and more an issue
of communication or compatibility. It might take someone not directly
involved to distinguish between the two.
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